I get to have a christmas tree!!!

So we finally found a place it is a 2 bedroom apartment in Newport. We will be moving in on monday. We are both really excited. If we didn't have to work we would move in today. But we do so we can't. anyway that is the news right now.
one sad thing is we can't keep trooper.

Sometimes all you can do is cry...

So today I worked from 10:30 until 7:00 which for me is a long day. And by the time I got off I just wanted to go home and relax. (my feet start to hurt really bad at about 5) But before I did go home I wanted to get some dinner for my significant other, because he is working a 12 hour day which doesn't include the time he has to drive back in forth between his jobs, and I worked an 8.5 hour day and I don't feel like cooking so I go to the store get my groceries and get in line and realized I left my new checkbook at home... so i put all the groceries back and drove home and as I get out of my crappy car I cut myself on the handle (it is broken and sharp). which frustrated me even more and then i walk through the door and the dog decides that is the perfect time to jump up and down on me... that was the last straw i just broke down and cried... it really doesn't seem like that much but it was to me especially with my hormones all crazy and stuff because i am pregnant.
But now that I am done crying i feel much better. I might even decide to let the dog say hi to me now but in a more polite way.

job update

He got the job!!! yippee!! and he gets benefits after 90 days. Until his 2 weeks are up at the job he is leaving he will be working 60 hours a week. which means a little extra cash for the savings which is awesome.

baby news and more

So i am 5 1/2 months along now and feeling way better. I am showing quite a bit more. All my shirts are getting to small. I don't like when my belly can be seen from the bottom that is just no good.
Little Elizabeth is moving around like crazy. She tends to move the most when i want to sleep which isn't the most convenient time especially when somebody wants to feel her move during the day when everybody is awake but she stays still for them.

We still haven't had a baby shower. I have no idea how to plan one but I have help from some people. I just need to make a list of people invited and I hope I don't miss anybody. If anybody has ideas that would be awesome. PLEASE let me know what they are.

Brian and I still haven't found a place for a decent amount of money we can afford. But he might be getting a better job at staples as a tech guy and he would be getting 40 hours a week being paid more then he is now and will be getting benefits which would be awesome but we won't know until Thursday or Friday. The interviewer needs to check his references. I pray he gets it.

I am attending church regularly again which has been really nice. I love the changes that have and are still being made. The amount of people who go seems to get bigger every week which is way better then losing people. To me it seems like people smile and laugh more which is also great. They aren't bored out of their minds and actually enjoy themselves.

So that is an update on things for all who want to know.

Hopefully I can get some pictures up of my growing belly for everybody. (mostly you shayla).

Elizabeth Grace

ULTRASOUND

Yesterday was the Ultrasound. I have to say that the machine they use doesn't seem like much but it is awesome!! I love technology...lol. It was really amazing to see my little girl at only 19 weeks old inside the womb!!! I was totally in awe so much so I didn't even remember I had to pee super bad until it was done. According to the measurments and things they got she is approximatly 9oz right now which is really tiny. I can't even think of anything to compare that with. Her heartrate was 153 which I am assuming is normal because they didn't say that it was bad. I got to see her have hiccups and see her beating heart....I don't even know how to explain how amazing that is to me.
Well I got to go I am supposed to be reading for class.

I am finally getting over...

The nasuea of that women get while the are pregnant. Unfortunately it has taken until the 18th week until it died down. But at least it was just nasuea for the most part and not vomiting all the time. Anyway on to something better. I am not really showing yet. I am but I am the only one that can tell unless I wear a tight shirt which is just not my style. I work with somebody who is 14 weeks but way bigger then I am. But i should probably be happy that my baby is probably going to be kind of small. I really don't mind i guess. I just don't want people to think that I am just fat rather then thinking I am pregnant. I don't know if that made any sense but oh well. I believe i have been feeling little kicks which is awesome. it is quite exciting. Just updating a little.

Finally I can blog

For everybody who doesn't know... which shouldn't be that many people... I am pregnant!!
I was not very excited in the beginning I was really terrified actually but now I am super excited and not as stressed and worried about what other people will think.
Just to answer questions I am starting to get a lot of...
- I am about 16 weeks along
-I have an Ultrasound next tuesday which I am super excited about Hopefully they will be able to tell what the sex is.
- I really want a girl but would still be happy for a boy.
-I am going to find out the sex but am not sure if I want to tell people.
-My due date is March 3rd.
- and yes I have been thinking about names and know the name if it is a girl.
I think that is everything for now.

Yawn

My sister has finally left for school in Michigan it is sad but I am really excited for her and know she is going to do well and love it so much. At least I hope so.
Sadly I will not be able to go in October do to an unexpected surprise. Which I will go more into detail about in the future. I don't want to right now.

Random thoughts spinning in my head

I got a new truck to drive across the country in. It will be tons of fun....maybe for the first hour or two. One step closer to starting a long journey. And only God knows how that journey is going to end...or how well it is going to go. I have this little feeling in my gut that I am going to struggle a ton. I hope people don't get too disappointed if it doesn't go like they have it planned in their heads. I am so scared of so many different things. I just want everything to be okay right now. I feel like I am hiding things that I shouldn't be hiding. But then again maybe it is all in my head and people won't really care or maybe they will get excited.

Super Easy

Things are really starting to sink in. As far as people moving away. Some close friends are leaving in early July and then my sister at the end of August. This is going to be a rough summer for me. I am going to miss them all like crazy. But I am so happy for them all. MY SISTER IS GOING TO COLLEGE!!!! I am so proud of her. Its hard to believe she will be living on the other side of the country.

school

Looking at schools and filling out applications scares the shit out of me.

How I feel...

I hate how I feel right now. I am just not into anything anymore. I dread the days when their is younglife, and frontlline and campaigners. I used to get so excited. I want to be excited about it. I try to get excited about it before hand and then I get there and I think "why am I here? I am out of high school, I shouldn't be here this is for younger kids." I don't feel needed for younglife. I am still sitting in the back on the computer all by myself. I have expressed before the want to get into things more and people tell me okay lets do this we will get you up there. But then nothing happens. I guess it is mostly my fault for not volunteering enough I guess. I don't know. I also don't like how I feel about God right now. I know I don't put him first, I want to but I don't want to. I don't know how to explain it. Maybe its because I stopped going to things. Doing things that put him in the center of everything. But I stopped because I don't enjoy them anymore. I feel like I am typing in a circle of I don't knows. This sucks. I wish I could express how I feel without thinking I am blaming anybody but myself but I don't want it to be my fault. I want it to be everybody elses. This blog probably makes no sense to any normal person and I am sorry for that.

My pics are on myspace.

IDAHO

So I am in Idaho right now sitting in a hotel typing this. The reason I am in Idaho is because I came to visit my "Long lost family" In other words my mother and my two half brothers and my grandma on my mothers side. It has been twelve to fifteen years since I have seen these people depending on who it is.
I came with my brother josh and my sister shayla and my boyfriend brian. It took us thirteen hours to get here and we left at 6:30am. It was LOOOONG. Anyway we got to our hotel at 10:30 Idaho time. When we got to the hotel I let nathanial, one of my brothers, know that we made it safely. which is when I found out that i was meeting my mother and her husband of 4 years in ten minutes. I got really super nervous and scared. So did everybody else. I had thought we wouldn't see them until the next day. I do not know how to explain the feeling in the room when they showed up. It was like fear, tension, sadness, anger and a little bit of excitement and I don't know it was weird. Anyway we all gave each other hugs and then there was an ackward silence for about a minute. Then the ice was broken and we talked for about 3 hours. Mostly surface stuff and stories us three kids didn't know. It was good. Today we met Nick and my Grandma Amy. Grandma Amy was shocked and relieved and had some tears of joy. It was awesome. Nick was really quiet and shy but he opened up later on. I also met Daniel one of Toms daughters she was quiet and unsure also. She seems nice though. Hmm what else... my mother had to work from 3 to 10 and Nate had to work from 8am to 7pm so we hung out with nick tom and daniel and did some touristy things. Then we all went to dinner except for my mother she was working. And around 11 we went swimming and now I am typing this. I will hopefully say more tomorrow or next time I am online. I am going to put some pics up with everybody now.