Earlier today on the bus I started praying for these three people I believe that two of them had down syndrome but am unsure if that is what it is anyway and the third one is the mother or caretaker of the other two. Anyway. It seemed wierd to me because I don't normally pray for people that I don't know. I really don't even know what their situation is. But I prayed anyway. I see them all the time and the caretaker looks more tired each time. She seems at the end of her..hmm...Patience I guess is the word. Basically she seems tired of everything.
I wish I had something I could just loose myself in. A hobby or something. I have a book I could read and I want to read it but I wish I had something I loved to do something that I could do besides reading and writing. I am not good at writing and I don't always have time or the want to read.
I hate being angry all the time. I am starting to take it out on other people. Well I guess I probably do it all the time. I wish I understood why I am so angry sometimes I think I know but when I think about it it really doesn't make any sense. It is taking up so much space in my heart that it is hard for me to love others the way they love me. Unconditionally.
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1. I am glad to hear that you are doing that. It seemed very sincere to hear you tell it like that. I really am proud of you for doing that.
2. That is tough. I wish I had some wisdom for ya there. I find that when I get like that I have to rebuild my computer so that is my thing...but thats just cuz I like to do that.
3. We should keep talking. I think you are pretty angry right now because a lot of emotions have been brought to the surface in the last few weeks...you are dealing with a ton of stress and a ton of emotion right now. Its natural to be frustrated. I do hope that you can sort those feelings out and learn how to cope. I hope we can talk more about this.
Love ya.
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